Sorry Mom!

Didn't mean to make you mad...

Especially since I might be living with you soon.

Let me explain - part of what I have to do when being on a "diet" is examine what makes me eat.  Its not boredom.  Its not hunger.  Its not even the overwhelming desire to get a seat-belt extender on an airplane - its that at the end of the day I am totally stressed out and don't care - about anything.  My heath, my life, my cat, my barbies, Fish Wrangler - ANYTHING.  So I figure - fuck it - might as well just eat what I want cause everything sucks anyways (this is usally the time that my brain TOTALLY forgets all of the sacrifices and hard work I have done over the past 2 weeks and reverse all the progress in one day by eating a pint of ice cream, 2 brownies, turkey sandwich, hot dog, chex mix, Reese's Stix and maybe a Kit Kat IN ONE SITTING!)

Who does that?  Seriously, I feel like I am going to explode and have heart-burn all night - but while I am shoveling food in my face, it is a forgotten fact.

Anyhow, my point, if stress and work are my "triggers", then how can I fix that?  Answer?  I have a meeting in about 1 hour to try and get the resources I have needed for over 1 year.  If I cannot get what I need, then I will seriously look at other options for my life, because I refuse to continue in a job that is killing me.

Now, don't get all excited, I'm not going to quit today, but if my job cannot make the same committment to me as I am making to them, then I will seriously focus on other options and work very hard to execute a career strategy that does not stress me out so I have to take 2 Xanax to fall asleep.

I'm sure that living with my parents at 35 will help reduce my stress - HA!

Hope to have good news tomorrow.